| I know you are out there. I know you are weary and worn down. Your body and mind exhausted beyond what seems possible. In this space, clarity seems non existent. The water that at one time seemed clear is murky, and no amount of effort or searching clears it. During this time, the general response is fight or flight. Do something. Anything to make it end, force things to fit back into the box of perception. Place a new illusion over the construct that seems to represent endless darkness. At this moment is a key turning point for every human being. Especially every one that desires to be free. Can you accept a reality that does not seem to make sense? Can you sit in the darkness, and be still? Only this moment holds the key, the key that unlocks the door to the prison cell of your mind, the prison cell that only opens from the inside. Who are you? It is only in this place that you can find out. The saying goes; those who say don't know, and those who know don't say. This is because the experience leaves you understanding that words cannot begin to describe who you are. But it is there. Written inside you since the beginning. But because of the most basic desire of the ego, to survive, and when we needed most to physically survive the only options were fight or flight. So now we have lived into a time when we have more options, only it requires a strength that we haven't used in a very long time, if ever. Stay there. Observe it as one would observe an alien planet. Your mind will rise up and scream run, scream change it, scream destroy it. Just watch. Because as you sit with the darkness, the murkiness, the exhaustion, you will find your true self. The person you always were. The one hidden in all of your favorite characters you admired in the stories, movies, or even history. It will come slowly, and again, most likely without words. In feelings, first weak, like when you feel your own heart beat, or your breath. Then stronger, as you sit longer inside the madness that takes place in this life. Images, sometimes a word or two will resonate again and again. I can't tell you how it will be. There are no teachers for it. Some have pointed to it, but even they knew the unbelievable truth that you must find it for yourself. That is why it cannot be controlled by religion or government or social order. It is deeply personal. This is why your own ego, and the creation of other egos, religions, tv's, create endless distractions. Endless images of death, life, good, evil, hoping beyond hope to distract you long enough to keep you from finding who you are. Because once that happens, they cannot control you any more. Your false self cannot control you any more. You are free. You were born free and you will die free. The mind will make up stories this is not true. However, it is your essential nature. But I cannot convince you. Some hear a bird sing and instantly know, some get sent to concentration camps and learn over time. Some receive the call endlessly and reject over and over. The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike, and the sun shines on us both. I sit in endless despair and then the crickets sing. Only now. Just this. Breath comes and goes. I didn't make it happen. It just is. I am. I would sign this as me, or the name I was given, or the name I know myself by. I could sign it as you, or the name you were given, or the name you really are. That would be silly. We are the same, whether or not anyone ever accepts this doesn't change the reality. I'm a red blood cell, your a leg, someone else is a in electrical impulse firing in the brain. We will all take our places at the table when we are called. I am because we are, we are because I am. Peace to my brothers. Peace to my enemies. Peace to all the strangers wandering. |
